It’s already the second full week of the new year and I still need to create my vision board. I guess I’ve been busy having fun the past few weekends to find time to sit down and be creative! As I thought of my visions and goals for 2014, I also started thinking of the habits I’d like to break this year. Adding a ‘not’ to my goals might seem like a swing to the negative, but I feel it’s still a focus on the positive since I’m trying to stop doing things that don’t fulfill or affect me in a positive light. So here’s what I’m aiming for this year.
I will not be shy about telling people how I feel about them, especially my family and friends. I’m not talking about telling someone off who annoys me (although that might happen a few times! Ha). I mean I won’t be shy about telling someone I love, adore, appreciate, value and care about them. Too often we wait until someone is gone before sharing how we feel. Not just in death, but also when someone leaves your life. Why wait? Life is short and you truly never know when your moment will be lost.
I will not worry so much about things I can’t change or the future. I’m not sure when I started to focus on ‘what if’ and what might happen. Maybe it’s as I get older, life seems to spiraling by much too fast. I’m a Virgo, planner, organizer and big picture thinker. I have plans/goals related to my personal life and career. Sometimes I want them to happen right now. Cancer taught me that you can’t always plan your life but sometimes I think cancer made me more anxious to plan so I could be sure to pack as much of life into the day as I can since you never know what will happen. However, I’ve learned you have to be willing to ‘go with the flow’ and sometimes all the planning makes you miss something happening right in the moment. So my goal is to recognize, and enjoy, more of those ‘in your face’ moments. The future is going to happen, and while I believe we can control some of our path in life, I also believe your destiny will happen.
I will not be so frustrated that I can’t do an activity but instead appreciate how strong my body is and value all the amazing things I can do as a cancer survivor. I am a Zumba addict, thanks to my younger sister who needed a workout buddy two years ago. The high-energy music makes me happy, yet it’s the feeling of accomplishment that really sells it for me. Even with a titanium rod in my femur, I can still master most moves and get an amazing workout. Shortly after treatment, I focused on what I could no longer do – ride horses, run, play volleyball, cross-country ski. Now I focus on what my body is able to do, and frankly, it’s a lot. At the end of the day, not only do I feel strong and confident, I am helping my one and only body stay healthy.
I will not exert energy and emotions on people who don’t make an effort with me. I very much value the wonderful friendships I have made over the years with amazing women and men. I feel much gratitude and loyalty to those friends who have stuck by me through the years. My friendships with some people have faded over the years, and, well it sometimes makes me sad. I feel I’ve made some concerted efforts to reach out, share news and try to stay connected, but after some time, I accept that like any good relationship, it can’t be just me working to keep us connected. And I recognize that this is just life. People get busy and focused on their own priorities, which doesn’t mean they care less, just have less time for me. But in focusing on trying to rebuild that connection, I feel I’ve let other really strong friendships suffer. So while I hope to keep some of these people in my life in some way, I plan to focus my efforts, energies and emotions on the friends who value me as much as I value them. (Admittedly I may have done this very thing to friends who wanted to remain close and I lost sight of them while focusing on other people and priorities. For that, I am very sorry.)
I will not make excuses for not finishing my book. I’m putting this out there in a very public forum so it puts some pressure on me. One of my dream goals is to publish a book. For the past few years I’ve been working on both a fiction and nonfiction book. I always let other factors push the books to the bottom of my to do list. I work in public relations/marketing and do freelance work when I have time so my excuse lately has been a drain on creative juices. Maybe that is a bit of a valid excuse but there are still moments in the week to dedicate to writing. Especially when my husband is so very supportive of my goal. This is the year to focus (but I won’t share any piece of the books until completed :)).
I will not let time pass too quickly without ensuring my husband and I have fun with activities such as hiking, biking and camping. These are a few of the many activities that brought Justin and I together as a couple and some of my favorite memories involve being together outdoors. Life sometimes pushes play time to the back corner but I realize how important it is to make time for fun and relaxing. Not just for our own mental and physical health but also the growth of our relationship.
And possibly the most important – I will not beat myself up if I end up doing any of these! Hey, life happens and I’m human. My goal is not be perfect but happy with myself and my life.
What are some habits or trends you’d like to give up this year?